Life in Death
by HuntressMinerva
Summary: Danny's feelings after his death and what he goes through as a spirit. A prequel to "Watching", but it stands alone pretty well.
1. Paradise

Life in Death 

Chapter One - Paradise 

Danny was hurting. The pain was so intense, it transcended description. "I'm not...I'm not...gonna...I'm so cold...not gonna make it," he said to Rafe's blurry figure, which was leaning over him, muddy and bloodstained. _Not as much as I probably am,_ he thought wryly. Those few words had taken so much out of him. 

"Yes you are. YES YOU ARE!" Rafe shouted back. 

Danny was so tired...so weak. 

Rafe continued. "You know why? You're gonna be a father, Danny! I wasn't supposed to tell you...Danny, you're gonna make it, you're gonna be a father..." 

Danny drew on his remaining strength, and pulled Rafe closer so that he could hear him. "No," he whispered, "you are." 

Then his eyes closed. _This is it,_ thought Danny. _I'm going, Rafe. Please forgive me..._and he knew no more. 

*** 

Or so he thought. 

Danny awoke to find himself in a completely foreign place. He was lying on a bed of soft moss, and there were trees and flowers surrounding him. Some distance off, he could see people running around, and hear them laughing. _Laughing?_ thought Danny bitterly. _People are laughing, and I'm lying here, a few yards away, and I'm dying..._

Wait, he thought suddenly. The pain was gone. He felt more alive than he had had for a long time. He sprang up, and took a good, long look at his surroundings. He was in a large, sprawling grove with a fountain in the middle. He couldn't see that far, but he guessed it was encircled by trees. There were songbirds all around him. The sun was warm on his back, and there was a light breeze tousling his hair. 

"Where am I?" he whispered. 

"Welcome to Paradise, Danny," said a vaguely familiar female voice behind him. 

He turned around to see a face he recognised. It was Betty, and she was smiling slightly. 

"Betty!" he cried. "How did I get here? I have to go home...I have to go to Evelyn, and I've got to raise my son..." He paused, and blinked a few times. "Wait, aren't you...uh..." 

"Dead?" quipped Betty. "Yes." 

"Oh, God," said Danny. _No!_ he thought desperately. _This can't be happening._ "That means...I must be..." 

"Dead as well," Betty supplied. Her eyes softened. "I'm sorry, Danny," she said sympathetically. "I had no idea Evelyn was expecting." 

Danny slumped, and sat down on the grass. "What's going to happen to Evelyn? What's going to happen to my son?" 

Betty seated herself next to him. "I wouldn't worry if I were you," she said gently. "Rafe will take care of them. He's your best friend. You can trust him." 

Danny was silent for a while. Dying had seemed like such a heroic thing to do back then, but now...he wished he was alive. Then he wished he hadn't thought that. "You're selfish, Daniel Walker," he said softly, sternly, to himself. But still...Evelyn! And his son...he was going to miss out on living with him, raising him, being a father to him. _It's not fair,_ he thought. 

"Life isn't fair, Danny," said Betty. 

Danny started. It was as if she'd picked the thought out of his head. 

Betty smiled, a small smile. "I'm not psychic. When I first died I went insane. I'd be sitting right here all the time, crying my eyes out, shouting myself hoarse." She paused. "I know how it feels. Death isn't easy to take." 

Danny couldn't answer. He felt drained. He was sure his face was ghostly pale. 

The throbbing pain had returned, and it was twice as strong now. But this time, it wasn't in his body. His body felt fine, cruelly fine. _Couldn't they have just let me go? I don't want to suffer this non-life!_ he thought, suddenly angry. Death had been something less than a release for him. 

The pain was in his heart. 

*** 

Danny was walking by himself. At his request, Betty had left him to be alone with his thoughts. 

_I never knew dying was like this!_ he thought. He felt betrayed. People all said that death was for the best, because now the person would be freed of earthly concerns. _What a pack of lies,_ thought Danny. Death...felt just like living. With more limitations. And more troubles. He had had his fair share of problems bothering him when he died, but now, as a spirit, he felt so helpless, so unable to do anything about them. _I'm powerless now that I'm dead,_ he realised. 

He broke into a run, and sprinted wildly through the forested area he had hidden himself in. He wished he could fly. When he was alive, he'd used to jump into a plane and fly every time he felt upset. But there were no planes here - so he ran. He ran like his life depended on it. In a way, his sanity did. 

Questions kept flying through his head. _I'm too young to die!_ he thought repeatedly. _How could I have let Evelyn down like this? How could I have let my unborn son down as well? Now he'll never know his father. Why did I have to die?_

Perhaps it was fate that Evelyn had, eventually, ended up with Rafe. For all he knew, he could have been put on Earth for no purpose other than to be the catalyst in their relationship. _Was it worth it?_ he wondered momentarily. "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all," he murmured to himself as he ran. 

The initial shock of death was still strong, but he could feel it leaving him already. 

*** 

Author's Note: 

I'm planning to write one or two more chapters to round this out. I'm afraid I don't have a remarkable memory, which is why I avoided retelling movie scenes as much as possible. Please forgive any mistakes. I do hope you liked it, and that it didn't seem boring or pointless. Please review! Suggestions for improvement and story ideas are also warmly welcomed. (So are flames, though perhaps not as warmly.) ~HuntressMinerva 


	2. Funeral

Life in Death 

Chapter Two - Funeral 

Rafe had never been noted for his calmness, but usually he did try to keep his cool around senior officers, especially those who had the power to sack him. Today, however, found Captain McCawley engaged in an argument with his commanding officer, General Doolittle. An argument that Rafe was determined not to lose. 

"You can't be serious, McCawley!" said General Doolittle incredulously. 

Rafe's face was set in stone. "I am serious, sir." 

General Doolittle shook his head. "Let me get this straight. You want to take Walker's body back to Tennessee so you can bury him in your backyard. And you want to have his funeral there as well." 

Rafe nodded. "Yes, sir. It's the way he would have wanted it." 

"Who the hell ever buried somebody in their backyard!" said Doolittle, sounding irritated. "Can't you just give him a good, proper military funeral and bury him together with all the others?" 

_This is going to be tough,_ thought Rafe. "Sir, Danny was - is - my best friend. He and I grew up together in Tennessee. We have the happiest memories of our lives there. I know he would want to be buried at home. This place, for us, only holds memories of war and death." There. He'd made it through his planned speech without fumbling. _Now, all Doolittle has to do is say yes._

General Doolittle's expression was pained, and when he spoke, his voice was soft and controlled. "McCawley," he began, "do you realise that if you have Walker's funeral in Tennessee, I'm going to lose ALL my freakin' airforce for a day while they go and attend it? Oh, no, McCawley, don't lie to me, I know how popular Walker was." 

"We can have it on Sunday, then, sir," said Rafe. _Well, at least he seems to accept that I want to bury Danny in Tennessee._ He continued. "That's in two days. No one ever does proper work on Sunday anyway. And it'll only be a day, sir. Only one day," He smiled impudently. "Why, you can come too, sir." 

General Doolittle was at least as stubborn as Rafe, but even he could see when he was defeated. He threw up his hands. "What can I say, McCawley? You leave me no choice." He nodded. "You may have Walker's funeral in Tennessee, and bury him there too." 

Rafe grinned. "Thank you, sir. If that's all..." He got up to leave. 

He was almost at the door when General Doolittle called him. "Oh, and, McCawley?" 

He turned. "Yes, sir?" 

"You forgot to give me your address." 

*** 

Danny's exploration had led him to find a beach in Paradise. It had become his favourite haunt. It reminded him of Evelyn, and in some small part Rafe as well. 

He had, more or less, come to terms with his death. He kept reminding himself that it was all okay, and that no one would really blame him for leaving them. Rafe would take good care of Evelyn and his son for him. But try as he might, he still found himself completely unable to go down and take a look at them. _If the thought of them reduces me to this,_ he thought sadly, _the sight of them would tear me apart. If that were possible._

He heard Betty's footsteps before he saw her face. She came running from behind. "Danny!" she cried. "They're holding your funeral right now! You have to go down!" 

Danny scuffed his toe in the sand. "Big deal," he muttered. "It's just another military sendoff." He was trying to hide the real reason he couldn't bring himself to go. Because Evelyn and Rafe would be there. 

Betty shook her head. "No, Danny. It's not a military funeral. It's a proper church affair." She smiled. "And they're holding it in Tennessee. Everybody's there." 

_Tennessee?_ Danny's head jerked back to look at Betty. "Tennessee? Are you sure?" 

Betty nodded firmly. "Sure I'm sure. Rafe wrangled permission out of Doolittle. And you'll be buried in his backyard, where you both grew up." Her smile turned wry. "I hear that there was a mighty shouting match between Rafe and Doolittle." 

"Oh, God," said Danny softly. Rafe had been his best friend even after he died. He knew him so well. Tennessee was exactly where he'd wanted to be buried. He gripped Betty's shoulders. "Are you sure I can go down? What happened to the night-only rule?" 

"It's always suspended for funerals," said Betty. "You have to go now, Danny!" 

She didn't have to say it twice. Danny was gone. 

*** 

Danny reached his church in Tennessee just as the priest was finishing his eulogy, but he barely heard a word of it. He was too busy looking around him, taking in the sight of the crowded church. The pews were filled with officers, nurses, and people he didn't even recognise. Even General Doolittle was present. Most of them were crying. 

He drifted over to the front. Evelyn was there, next to Rafe. She was crying too, but surprisingly enough, so was Rafe. Danny felt as if his breath was caught in his throat. _I never thought I'd see the day Rafe McCawley cried,_ he thought. 

Danny didn't realise just how much he'd been missing Rafe and Evelyn. Seeing them for the first time since his death, he was engulfed in a wave of conflicting emotions. There was pain and guilt at seeing them so sad, there was gratitude at seeing how they'd worked so hard to put together the best funeral for him, and most of all there was overwhelming love for them. He'd expected to feel upset, but the peace that settled over him was unprecedented. 

The mourners were moving out of the church. They were headed in the general direction of Rafe's home, just adjacent to Danny's, where the burial would be held. Danny followed them. 

He hadn't seen his home or Rafe's in such a long time. The sight of the familiar wooden houses brought back wonderful memories. There was the time he'd made those wings for Rafe, and he broke his leg trying to fly with them...there was the time he and Rafe had made a short flight in his dad's plane...and after that Rafe had hit his dad with a beam for beating him, and Danny had told Rafe, "You're my best friend." 

_And you are, Rafe,_ he thought fondly. He watched as his body, lying in a beautiful coffin, was laid to rest. The headstone was made of marble, and on it there were intricately carved patterns. Rafe and Evelyn had really gone all the way, trying to give him the best sendoff they could. Danny felt so...loved. The feeling gave him such joy, even in his death. He moved closer, trying to decipher the inscription on the headstone. 

DANIEL WALKER   
1917 - 1942   
_For Danny. May you fly forever. _

_Short and sweet,_ Danny thought. It was exactly Rafe's style. He'd never been one for florid poetry. But it was the most perfect epitaph he could have imagined. He lingered for a while, watching as the burial was completed, then returned to Paradise. 

He was glad he'd gone. 

*** 

Author's Note: 

I hope you liked Chapter Two, because I did. Chapter Three will be the final one. I am currently considering doing either a brand new fic or a sequel to "Watching". The new fic has higher priority, but I will do the sequel first if there is overwhelming request for it in the reviews. As always, thank you for reading. Forgive any errors, and please review. ~HuntressMinerva 


	3. Rebirth

Life in Death 

Chapter Three - Rebirth 

Evelyn was in the late stages of her pregnancy. She had stopped working in the hospital since her eighth month. On Rafe's insistence, she had gone to his home in Tennessee to rest. There, she would be away from the hectic lifestyle at Pearl Harbor, and would be well-looked after by the village women. 

She lay in a long couch, and her gaze rested on her rounded belly where her unborn child slept. It would be a boy. She and Rafe had unanimously agreed to name him after his father. Daniel Walker. _Danny..._

She looked out of the window. The sun was setting. In the distance, she could make out Danny's grave, resplendent in white against the pink and orange sky. It had been months, but the thought of him and the sight of his warm smile in photographs still tugged unmercifully at her heartstrings. She might be engaged to be married to Rafe, but she still loved Danny. She looked around her. Almost anything and everything triggered off some memory of him. The sunset made her think of the beautiful evening Danny had first taken her up in the air. _Life hurts,_ she thought. _Life hurts without Danny._

Suddenly, she felt a searing pain in her body. Her muscles began to knot up and ache. She screamed. 

The door burst open after a time, and the village midwife, followed by some other women, ran in. The midwife went over to Evelyn. She put a hand on her, trying to calm her down. "It's okay, dear," she said. "You're in labour." 

*** 

Danny didn't usually go down at night to see Evelyn and Rafe, but tonight he'd felt an overwhelming compulsion to go to Rafe's house, where he knew Evelyn was resting up before her delivery. It was almost as if there was some magical force pulling him towards her. Unable to resist any longer, he went. 

He arrived outside the house, where his grave was. The house seemed especially noisy. Danny could tell something out of the ordinary was going on. Curiously, he approached the house, unseen, and walked through the door. He found himself in the midst of proceedings he'd never have been admitted into when he was alive. _Oh, God!_ thought Danny. _She's giving birth! I'm not sure I ought to be here even if I am dead._ He turned back and walked out the wall. 

But he couldn't bring himself to return to Paradise yet. _The child Evelyn is giving life to right now is mine,_ he thought excitedly. _If I stay, I'll get to see him._ So he lingered, waiting. 

*** 

Rafe rushed into General Doolittle's office. He'd just been told to report there right away. "What is it, sir?" he asked the General, gasping for breath. 

General Doolittle looked back at him with the slightest hint of a smile. "Congratulations, McCawley. I have good news for you." 

_Could it be?_ Rafe wondered. "Sir...?" 

"I just received a call from Tennessee from a very excited woman," said Doolittle. "She says..." 

Doolittle was interrupted by Rafe. "Oh, God! Evelyn's given birth! I have to go home at once!" Then collecting himself, he added hastily, "Sir." 

Doolittle's mouth quirked, and he looked like he was trying not to laugh out loud. "You are granted a leave of absence for three days, McCawley. I suggest you leave immediately. Report back here on July 25 at 0700 hours." 

"Yes, sir," said Rafe, grinning infectiously. 

Doolittle waved his hand. "You may go now." 

Rafe saluted and walked out of Doolittle's office. He waited until he had shut the door quietly before letting out a whoop of joy. He dashed back to his lodgings and began to pack. There was no time to waste. It was fortunate he was a pilot. He could fly there himself. 

*** 

Evelyn held Danny Jr. in her arms and gently brought her lips to his face. "He's beautiful," she murmured. 

The midwife nodded, beaming. 

Suddenly, the door opened without warning, and Rafe barged into the house. He saw Evelyn, and went over to her. "Evelyn! Are you all right?" he asked. 

Evelyn nodded, and held out the small baby in her arms so that Rafe could carry him. 

The midwife got up. "Well, Evelyn, if you don't mind, I should be getting home now. Congratulations, Rafe," she added, smiling. Rafe nodded and smiled back. He, of course, was on a first-name basis with everyone in his hometown, and the midwife was no exception. 

Rafe took Danny Jr. into his arms and looked at him closely. "He's perfect, Evelyn," he said. 

"Seeing as he's Danny's son," said Evelyn softly, "I don't see how it could be otherwise." 

He couldn't remember how Danny had looked as a baby, but if anything, thought Rafe, he'd have looked exactly like his son did now. He had deep brown eyes and brown hair. He looked absolutely still and serene, not crying or wailing, but simply looking at Rafe. Rafe had an eerie sense of having come full circle just then. _This child...he's Danny's legacy,_ he thought. 

Rafe ran his hand lightly over Danny Jr's hair. "Hello, Danny," he said quietly. "I'm your Uncle Rafe." 

Evelyn looked at him, smiling weakly. She was still tired out from the delivery. "Uncle Rafe?" she asked. 

Rafe nodded. "Danny Jr.'s only ever going to have one Daddy," he said seriously. "And that's Danny." 

*** 

Danny watched, invisible, as Evelyn and Rafe fell asleep in their bed. Danny Jr. was in a small cot next to them. 

He went over to his son, and gently cradled him in his arms. _My son!_ he thought proudly. 

Quietly, he left the room. When he was well out of sight, he turned visible, and looked at Danny Jr. He was feeling an unfamiliar emotion rise up in him. He felt warm, and unbelievably happy. He felt as if a part of him that had been empty forever had just been filled in. _If this is the feeling a father gets,_ thought Danny, _it's even more amazing than people say._

He tilted his face downwards and kissed Danny Jr. lightly. His son was asleep, the very picture of a dozing cherub. "Hey, Danny," he said very softly, so as not to awaken anyone. "This is your Daddy speaking. I just want to tell you that I love you very much, and I always will, even though I can't be around for you." He paused. "I'm sorry, Danny, for leaving you to grow up without a father. I hope you forgive me." 

Suddenly, the baby's eyes fluttered open. They widened. 

_Oh no,_ thought Danny. _I hope he doesn't start crying._

But no cry came from Danny Jr. Instead, he smiled at Danny. Then he closed his eyes again, and before long Danny felt him settle back into the slow, regular breathing of a sleeping child. 

Danny smiled back at his son. He turned invisible, and quietly brought him back to his cot and laid him inside. Then he bent down and kissed him again. "I love you, Danny," he whispered. He was about to turn and leave, but he hesitated. There was something missing. 

He took a last look at Rafe, Evelyn and Danny Jr. He missed them so much. Seeing them had made the pain fade a little, and in spending time watching them he had found life in death. "I'll be back," he murmured under his breath, to no one in particular. "I'll watch over you all. I promise." 

The feeling of emptiness had vanished. Smiling gently, Danny left. 

*** 

Author's Note: 

This is the last chapter for this fic. I hoped you all liked it! Thank you for your patience in reading this, and please review as well! Special thanks must go out to teeny2002 and Tiara for being loyal readers and reviewers of this story as well as "Watching", and to jess-chan for suggesting that Danny come talk to his son at night. I liked the idea, so I used it, as you see - thank you! And of course, thanks to all who have encouraged me. Next up, I think, will be the sequel to "Watching". ~HuntressMinerva 


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